Whether you're stuck in a rut, constantly having the same argument, or not even sure what's wrong, couples counselling can be the game-changer that helps you turn things around and get back on track.
But let's be honest: therapy isn't always a walk in the park. It's essential to prepare yourself mentally and emotionally before diving in. Here are seven ways to get ready for your first session with your partner:
1. - Make Sure You Are Both 100% In
This might seem like a no-brainer, but you both must be genuinely committed to therapy. Sometimes, one partner is all in while the other is dragging their feet. Sound familiar?
Quite often, it is one partner who has suggested that the couple seek couples counselling, and the other partner is reluctant about beginning this process.
If your partner isn't too keen on the idea, step back and listen to their concerns. Addressing any worries or hesitations they might have before stepping into that therapy room is crucial. The more committed you both are, the better your chances of making some real progress.
2. - Set Some Shared Goals For Therapy
Once you're both on board, it's time to get on the same page about what you want to achieve from therapy. This is all about understanding each other's expectations and figuring out your mutual goals.
Ask yourselves some key questions, like:
How do we want to grow as a couple?
Do we need to work on how we handle conflicts?
Are there any attachment or dependency issues we need to address?
How can we improve our intimacy, both emotionally and physically?
Do we need to listen better and validate each other's feelings?
Having a clearer idea of your goals will help you find a therapist who's the right fit and can help you tackle these issues head-on.
3. - Find A Therapist That Feels Like A Good Fit
Not all therapists are created equal, and finding the right one can make a huge difference. This is about comfort and compatibility as much as it is about credentials.
To find a therapist who's a good fit:
Check out their bios and watch any intro videos they have. This can give you a sense of their style and approach.
Come up with a list of questions to ask them, like, "Have you worked with couples who have [our issue]?" Being upfront about what you're dealing with helps everyone get on the same page.
Schedule a couple of initial phone calls with different therapists to see whose approach resonates with you both. Speaking with them separately is perfectly fine if that makes you more comfortable.
4. - Clear Your Schedule For Your First Session
Therapy can bring up a lot of emotions, so make sure to clear your schedule around your first appointment. This isn't just about freeing up time for the session but also for some downtime afterward.
If your appointment is later, consider freeing the rest of the night. This way, you can take time to process, reflect, and care for yourself without feeling rushed.
5. - Be Ready To Share Personal Stuff
Couples counselling isn't just about your relationship but also about you as an individual. Be prepared to dive into your personal history, including stories, memories, and feelings that might not directly relate to your partner.
Your therapist will want to understand your emotional bonds and attachment styles, as these can impact everything from who you choose as a partner to how you interact within the relationship. It's a deep dive, but it's all part of the process!
6. - Decide What (If Anything) To Tell Your Friends
Relationships with friends are essential for your overall well-being. But you don't have to tell them everything, especially regarding couples counselling.
Consider whether you want to share this part of your journey with your friends and, if so, how much you want to share. Remember, you're not obligated to tell anyone anything. It's all about what feels suitable for you and respecting your partner's privacy.
7. - It's Okay To Be Nervous!
Feeling anxious about your first session? Totally normal! Most couples think of a mix of nerves and anticipation before starting therapy. You're about to open up about some pretty personal stuff, which can be daunting.
Just remember, it's okay to feel a little hesitant. Therapy on London is a new experience, and it's natural to feel unsure. Your therapist is there to help guide you through these emotions, not judge you. They might even start by asking how you feel about being there, which can be a great way to break the ice.
Unknowns make many people anxious. It can be helpful to be patient and stay hopeful that after both partners meet the therapist, some of the anxieties about going to couples counselling will be put at ease.
So, take a deep breath, be open, and trust the process. You're taking a big step toward improving your relationship, and that's something to be proud of!
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